My Xanga Account

OMG. Did you have Xanga?

I’ve been blogging for a long time, it started years ago with Xanga. I was so excited to find a social networking site that wasn’t about meeting boys/girls. It really was about people wanting to express themselves. For me, it was freedom.

At the time I got a Xanga account, I was fresh out of high school and I was going through the pains of being a young lady. I was torn between the American culture I’d been introduced to and the fusion of Trinidadian and Guyanese culture at home. It was a war of minds, of wills and ultimately I lost because I was unable to express myself to my mother and my family.

I was the outcast, the “own way” girl of the family who went against the grain but still managed to preserve and hold on to my Caribbean heritage.

It was a difficult time for me, but having a Xanga account where I could vent and share my writing help. It cultivated a great sense of worth for me, to know that I was not the only teenager going through these issues, that I wasn’t the only one upset and questioning the judgement of the people who made the decisions in my life. I felt accepted. (

It was the anonymous acceptance that cemented my confidence as a writer and as a young girl growing up in a confusing and weird world.

I love reading through my old posts, it always makes me try to recall exactly what was happening in that moment of time that made me feel so intensely, so absurdly strong about my expression. I know that one day I’ll be doing this maybe from a future blogging site, looking back at WordPress and being in awe of myself. I hope that I would be able to measure my growth as a person and as I writer at that time the same way I’m able to do it now. Proudly, confidently and with a smile.

Thank you anonymous and not so anonymous readers, you’ve been helping me be me for a long time.

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