I feel guilty when I don’t blog post as much as I used to, want to. When I do have a writing spell, I feel awesome that I’m able to be cohesive and make a post that maybe reach someone or validate a thought they had.

When I don’t write, I feel like I’m denying myself something. Like pouring water into your cup, bringing it up to your lips but never taking a sip. It feels like I’m just going through the motions.

The days that I do write, that I’m able to articulate my thoughts precisely, I feel alive. I feel like I’ve finally found the missing piece of the 500 part puzzle and it’s complete.

I’ve tried everything to try to make my writing spells last, prompts, keeping a diary, writing through my inspired days till I have nothing left but a very carpal tunnel affected hand but nothing works.

This blog is a testament to my struggle. To my willingness to keep trying even though I get discouraged. A marker on how far I’ve come and how far I may go if I just keep at it.

I may never be a real writer or an author but one person reading something I’ve written has become more important than my previously grandiose dreams of some how being the next big thing in the writing world. It’s not that I no longer have a passion for it and I don’t hope some day I’ll have a book or some other finished work to give back to the writing/reading world, I’m just not going to get so focused on the possibility of being recognized and forget the little things.

Thank you to all of you who have visited my blog, who read, subscribe and even comment.

It means more than you ever thought, to me, a struggling, part time writer.