A selfish guy is normally an apparent jerk. You can spot him immediately and you know that there’s something wrong with him for the most part but you don’t exactly know what. As a woman your first instinct is to think that you can fix him and it’s just that he’s endured a lot of hurt. If you love him hard enough you can break his awful perception of the fair sex.

You’re wrong.

Selfish guys are a couple steps ahead of you and they are skilled emotional manipulators. They draw you in with the sob story about being hurt and you go above and beyond to not be like the last bitch that hurt him. You fall in love with his broken soul persona and you attempt to love the pain out. You notice things about his personality that you think you can shrug off for the most part; him talking over you, not acknowledging what you say, him telling you that you can’t hang out with your friends etc as him being over protective, concerned and not being able to survive without you. So, things progress, and then when he gets comfortable he loosens his belt and then you really see him but then its too late.

You love him.

He’s annoying. He talks about himself constantly and only asks you about yourself as a way to start talking about his day and his life.  He puts you down in front of other people and he does not consider your feelings or your time because quite frankly it’s not as important as his. He is now spoiled over your extreme actions of making him comfortable and you can not remember the last time he did something nice for you and you can count on one hand how many times he has been nice to you and now that you look back at it you see that it was only because he wanted something in return. His needs trump yours.  Any attempts to discuss his personality flaws or the fact that he never helps you around the house results in a shut down and the first words out of his mouth are always about breaking up because he knows you will never follow through with it because he knows that you don’t want to be the stigma. He’s going to be telling the next girl the sob story about you; how you never cared about him and you treated him bad and you’ll never be there to defend yourself.

Way too far into it you wonder what really happened in his last relationship; if anything he told you was true or if everything was a clever web and now you’re caught; stuck and you’re in love. The connections you made with friends are broken, family slightly removed because of his selfish behavior and you can’t move because it will be harder to leave than stay. You learn to take what you can get, cling to one second of happiness and you learn how to tip toe around his mood and his perceived niceness.

When he sees someone more attractive to him, he weaves another trap for you and leaves you high and dry and the next girl is more than eager to take your place because she sees how hurt he is, how broken he is and now its her turn to prove every other girl he’s been with wrong and love the pain out of him.

Now you’re bitter and alone and you have difficulty trusting, you have a hard time committing and he’s happily manipulating another fly.

Now what?