I was posting on my twitter account but of course long winded rants don’t do well in the repetitive confines of 140 characters so, let me elaborate. This is how it started.
I’ve always been vocal about my appreciation of Kim Kardashian, not necessarily because of her character but about the decisions that she’s made since her sex tape leaked or was put out there. She was able to turn a very negative, embarrassing situation into a marketable product. You guys love big asses and big breasts. You want something to objectify, Kim Kardashian became the penultimate person to objectify. You saw her naked, you feel like you know what she’s all about because you saw her in intimate moments with her then long term boyfriend. That they were together, in a relationship doesn’t matter though. Kim Kardashian is a whore, why? Because she didn’t hang her head in shame and go away after we saw her putting it on her man. She held her head and stood her ground. By now, we all know that sex is something that happens when people are attracted to each other, it should be no surprise that she had sex with Ray J but because you guys saw it, she’s a whore.
Now, lets examine this from another direction. What back lash has Ray J gotten for this. He was in the sex tape as well, he did not go away. He used the momentum to make a few songs that got a decent amount of play but where is he really in this? Was he demonized? No, he was patted on the back for having sex with a woman who was “stacked” like Kim K. He got to be her ruin, but not in a negative way. He was touted as the first in the long line of people she supposedly had sex with because you know, once we acknowledge that someone has had sex we assume that everyone they spend time with of the gender that they’re attracted to is automatically another partner.
Ray J has had no such issues even while have sex with most of the cast from his failed reality show bid for love. We celebrate his conquests. Oh, those girls were hoes so they got used, they knew what they were coming on that show for. Right? Ray J was the one who wins in that situation.
If Ray J became crazy successful and netted the amount of money that Kim K has been, we wouldn’t have any issues with it. Kim K is not seen as an entrepreneur or someone who as succeeded despite of a negative situation. She isn’t given props for overcoming as a woman. She is slut shamed (who’s to say she is a slut even?) and relegated to negative comments about everything, from her choice of relationship to the shape and size of her ass. Had it been Ray J, he would have been congratulated for making incredible business decisions, you know, like a boss.
The idea is that women in the public eye should be both the whore and the virgin character. She can’t be either or, she must be both. She can not be open about her sexual partners or be unfazed by sexual exposure because then she would be an attention seeking, money grubbing whore. If she is sexually subdued she is a frigid bitch who needs some good dick in her life to calm her down.
Unless you start expecting the same from men in the public eye, this issue will continue to push our genders far apart. What’s good for the goose should be good for the gander. Why should we, as women have to walk this fine line for you to consider us acceptable when we have to accept the nature of men? That you’re “sexual” and incorrigible. Why are we not allowed to be those things?