It was swift and came without warning. It was cold and dark and every shade of grey simultaneously. Realization. I could not unlearn these things about you if I wanted to, my love, my everything. I stand when it is easier to kneel, I refuse to submit to this unknown thing that tries to distance my soul from me and I pledge my undying wanderlust to you. My mind remembers ills that my body has gently started forgetting. The wounds filled with leeches to cure my infectious thoughts.

Nothing is as painful as this. Nothing is as serene as this. This moment, in this place, feeling like I am born again for the second time; away from you and the noise of your negative projections, away from you killing yourself and you taking me down with you. I’ll be here waiting to save you. Hold my hand.