I fell in love with his mother

All flesh and soft and inherently female

I smell her on my skin when it warms

her curly hair, smiling face

she moves me

She is everything I’ve wanted to be

warm, giving, open, sweet and decisive

wise and undeniable

She treats me as if shes had nine months to prepare

for my birth in her first kiss

followed by two others,

smooth, swift

and tender

arms around me, solid embrace and I lose myself there

I’ve dreamed of her and it seems I am born again in my the way she looks at the way her son looks at me

My eyes go back and forth, from him to her and back again

their native tongue is evervescent and hypnotizing

loving and plutonic

thick and mesmerizing in a way that no other language can draw you to it

she is the first woman

mother, wife, nurturer and I am enraptured in her beauty

in the effortless way it seems her feet never touch the ground

gabi around her

sweet tea in hand

bread in plate

I fell in love with her

She is the kind of mother I want to be

I bite my tongue from unburdening my life to her

to ask her if I am worthy

of her love

of her time

of her son

of her family

I hope I can live up to what she wants for him

I hope she sees nothing but love inside of me

I pray that through this, I can understand god

That I can be a good wife

A wonderful mother

and a blessed child.