I get frequently harassed by men, not because I’m beautiful or alluring but because I have a pulse. I’m okay with that for the most part, what I do wonder however is; who does this work for.
I want to meet the kind of woman that “you got a fat ass shorty, come here” in their minds translates into someone that they should actually stop for. The argument is that it has to work for someone or has to have worked somewhere, with someone for it to be an ongoing way to get women’s attention.
Here’s what goes on in my head when I here a comment like that.
1. Did you really think, for as long as I’ve had my body that I don’t know that my ass looks good in these jeans? Why couldn’t you have said something less offensive like; “Good morning” or ” You look amazing”, ” Those jeans are very flattering on you” ?
2. I’m not “coming” any where with you. I don’t know you. Hell, I barely go anywhere with people I know. What makes you think you’re going to be the one person that I lose my mind for, when you’re so rude in the first place?
As those thoughts are passing through my I’m passing you by. I refuse to respond or acknowledge any one, male or female that make derogatory comments of any kind, especially in an attempt to get into my pants. You say something about my momma, and its on!
Normally, after you walk by…the “come here” turns into ” you aint shit bitch”. Really? So, why did you want me to stop and talk to you? Were you going to teach my life lessons, get me a self help book on how I can do better? Oh, you’re cursing and I can still here you in the distance…great…that’s definitely going to make me WANT to talk to you tomorrow morning when you do the exact same thing, while you’re standing in the exact same spot…probably wearing the exact same clothes.
Seriously guys, I have a few tips for you.
1. Be polite. Women respond to men who aren’t too aggressive but are assertive. I can assure you, that if you say “Good Morning” or “Have a wonderful day” you would get a response more than “Girl, I would tear that ass up right now, you like d$ck”?
2. A woman saying Good morning to your salutation or thank you to your compliment does not mean that she now wants to have a full conversation with you. Good morning, while it is polite is not a conversation and that doesn’t permit you to follow it up with a crude statement. It’s a turn off. If a woman wants to talk to you, or finds you attractive, you will be able to tell that in her body language and she would slow down (if she’s walking) or linger to give you the opportunity for a follow up.
3. In the case that a woman does walk away or doesn’t linger, don’t get angry or respond in an angry way. Maybe tomorrow, when she sees you again and you are polite again that will change, maybe you will linger in her mind even if it is nothing but to think that you seemed kind. An angry response not only makes you look bad, it messes it up for the next man that might approach her. Think about it.
4. Move on. Don’t follow her, don’t ask her to come back, don’t force into a seat next to her on the train. Play it cool and release the thought of her. You guys are not married or dating. I call this the “I bought you a drink” phenomenon. That doesn’t mean anything.
With the men handled, let me move onto women.
Women are the most complainingest (yes, I know that’s not a word but it is apt to show how ridiculous women are) creatures in the world. If a man compliments you, say thank you. If a man says Good morning, Good Evening…Have a nice day; respond in kind.
Do NOT respond with a nasty attitude to someone that’s just saying hello
Do NOT walk around like you’re expecting men to talk to you and you’re already mad because you think they want you for your body. You may prevent a nice guy from talking to you just because of the vibes you give off.
Do NOT be rude. Period. A man is more likely to pursue you for something other than a jump off IF, you are polite and have a pleasant attitude. I’m not saying that sometimes it isn’t warranted to be rude, however you can respond and show your disdain without having to take it to the finger snap, head roll, hip swing with your lips in full trout mode.
I think men/women relationships are afflicted by each sex reporting to their friends/family/extended circles about the bad aspect of the other gender’s behavior and because of that we have all of these rules and defense mechanisms in place in order to protect our selves from the wretchedness of men/women respectively. If we would alter our behavior slightly, it would work out not only for us but for relationships on the whole.